So, I didn’t watch the Superbowl, not even for the commercials. I did, however, happen upon the Nissan Superbowl commercial when my daughter asked me if I could do a Dutch braid. I told her I couldn’t, but I knew someone who could show me how.

Yep, good ole Youtube, my go-to for all questions of plumbing, electronics or hair-styling.

Little did I expect to be thrown into a coma of despair.

Thanks for nothing, fair weather friend.

Because the ad before the Dutch braid video was, you guessed it, Nissan’s “With Dad.”

When I heard the first strains of “Cats in the Cradle”–a song about a father who ignores his young son, only to be ignored by his adult son during the father’s old age–I thought, hmmm… Where are they going with this?

And yeah, it was kind of where I feared.

Here’s the commercial, in case your day is skipping along a bit too perkily.

And here are the complete lyrics to “Cat’s in the Cradle” by Harry Chapin.

My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin’ ‘fore I knew it, and as he grew
He’d say “I’m gonna be like you, Dad
You know I’m gonna be like you”

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin’ home, Dad
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then
You know we’ll have a good time then

My son turned ten just the other day
He said, “Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let’s play
can you teach me to throw”, I said “Not today
I got a lot to do”, he said, “That’s ok
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, “I’m gonna be like him, yeah
You know I’m gonna be like him”

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin’ home, Dad
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then
You know we’ll have a good time then

Well, he came from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
“Son, I’m proud of you, can you sit for a while”
He shook his head and said with a smile
“What I’d really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please”

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin’ home son
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then, Dad
You know we’ll have a good time then

I’ve long since retired, my son’s moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, “I’d like to see you if you don’t mind”
He said, “I’d love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job’s a hassle and kids have the flu
But it’s sure nice talking to you, Dad
It’s been sure nice talking to you”

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He’d grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

And the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you comin’ home son
I don’t know when, but we’ll get together then, Dad
We’re gonna have a good time then

~

Yeah, the commercial cuts off at the baseball verse, but I can’t hear the first part of that song without knowing the end of it. That family is doomed! I’m telling you, DOOMED!!!

I needed therapy. And therapy, of course, comes best in the form of other people’s tweets. Here are some of my faves. (Thanks, Twitter, for being there when Youtube wasn’t.)

This years #SuperBowI was brought to you by #Nissan : Nissan, because neglecting your family should be cool again. #NissanCommercial — Blank Blank (@anjison) February 2, 2015

My takeaway from that last commercial: Buy a Nissan or your dad gets killed.

— Jake Reuse (@ReuseRecruiting) February 2, 2015

I give the Nissan commercial five guilt trips. #SuperBowlXLIX — Jason Stanford (@JasStanford) February 2, 2015

That Nissan commercial was longer than Boyhood, and I think the kid grew a year, too.

— Stewart Mandel (@slmandel) February 2, 2015

NEXT: commercial where a dad w/prosthetic legs gets a group hug at McDonald’s b/c his son died in a bathtub while he was driving a Nissan. — Corey Abney (@CoreyAbney) February 2, 2015

Did nobody else notice that the song in the @Nissan #withdad ad was written by a guy who died in a car wreck? — Sarah Stang (@SarahStang) February 2, 2015