Category: Oddballs

weird stuff, stuff that doesn’t fit elsewhere, whatever

Norm

What the Frick is Norm MacDonald Up To? Big Pete and the 82 Tweets

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Norm MacDonald took to Twitter this weekend and posted a story (or maybe two stories?) in a whopping 82 tweets–most coming in rapid fire.

Reactions have varied from “pure genius” to “the Faulkner of Twitter” (hurled as an insult) to “textbook… on how to get unfollowed” to “I want to have your children.” (Okay, no one actually offered procreative services, but there was a good bit of lusty slobbering going on.)

Some of the livelier reactions are included at the end of this post. But first — so you can decide for yourself if this is a new form of flash fiction, an Andy Kaufman-like punk, or something entirely its own — I offer here Norm’s 82 tweets. (You’re welcome!)

AND THEN:

THE END?

To me, the coolest part is seeing people responding to bits of the story as it unfolded.

All in all, the reaction was mixed:

Which leads to my ultimate theory, that Norm MacDonald’s spirit animal is the honey badger.

Life in a Box / Pictures from the Asylum

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There was a popular trend in museums a few years back to make traveling “trunk” exhibits that could be checked out by schools or other groups. The idea of a museum-in-a-box was to bring some educational programing of the museum to people (usually children) who might not be able (or inclined) to visit otherwise–and to do it the way museums do best, through objects.

Jon Crispin‘s work photographing the 400 suitcases left in the attic of a New York insane asylum  from 1910 to 1960 is perhaps more like life-in-a-box. The cases include the expected items a person might need when leaving home for a few months: family photos, toothbrushes, a sewing kit. Then there are the unusual, telling tidbits: the paperweight from the 1893 Chicago Worlds Fair, a set of yellow and white checkered drinking glasses, a miniature souvenir bat, a silver soup spoon, silk flowers, a World War II uniform. One man brought his zither.

Crispin’s photos are sparse, haunting tableaux of lives interrupted. The average stay in New York’s Willard Asylum was 30 years. “Looking at these suitcases, you just get the idea that that these people really had lives outside before they went to Willard,” says Crispin.

Duckie in Pink / The original (superior) ending to the 80s classic

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Here’s what I remember of seeing Pretty in Pink in the 80s: Molly Ringwald wore nifty hats! Molly Ringwald could sew cool stuff! People told me that I looked like Molly Ringwald! Yay!!!

Oh, and Duckie! I loved Duckie! He wore nifty hats too!

Other than that, the movie has been pretty much a blur in my gray matter for the last few decades until a day or so ago, when I sat down to watch Pretty in Pink once again… this time with my teenage daughter. I still love the hats. And Molly Ringwald can still sew amazing things (though the prom dress was much much uglier than I remembered it).

So here’s an unexpected revelation I had this go around:

Andrew McCarthy has semi-psycho eyes and there is absolutely no reason for Andie (aka Molly Ringwald) to like him.

Seriously. He doesn’t do or say anything particularly likeable. Not even wear a cool hat. So I did a little digging and found out that in the original ending to the movie, Andy ends up with Duckie!

SO MUCH BETTER!!

Here, from the Tampa Bay Times, is the script for the final shots:

Andie takes Duckie’s hand and walks him on the dance floor. The crowd separates and opens a large circle. Andie and Duckie stand at the center of the floor. Andie takes Duckie in her arms. She looks at the band leader.

BAND LEADER: He turns his back to his band and they begin to play again.

DUCKIE: He’s terrified.

DUCKIE:

“I can’t dance.”

ANDIE:
“Neither can I.”

DUCKIE:
“Are we crazy?”

ANDIE:
“Completely.”

Andie takes a few steps and starts dancing. Dukie follows clumsily. A few steps and they get in step. They dance without shame or concert for what anybody thinks.

BLANE: He turns back to watch Andie and Duckie.

STEFF AND BENNY: They glare at the new couple. Steff can’t hide the anger he feels at being undone by Duckie.

KATE: She glowers at Blane for his gesture to Duckie and Andie. He could care less.

ANDIE AND DUCKIE: The look at each other and smile. Duckie laughs. Andie squeezes him tight and lifts him off his feet.

FREEZE. MUSIC AND TITLES.

I’m pretty sure Will, a sweetheart of a character in our upcoming novel DreamBoy (coauthored with Madelyn Rosenberg), owes a good dose of his aesthetic to Duckie. In fact, I think it’s quite possible that on the subliminal level, the novel was a sort of mis-wired protest on my part against Blane and all his supposed perfection. Hmmmm… Ok, that might be an overstatement. Sort of.